Thoughts

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This past year, I have caught myself worrying about so many petty things and just letting all of those little things bother me. I’m currently focusing on the positives and having a mentality of enjoying things around myself and finding inspiration from others and positivity in those around me. I’ve grown up next to LA and have never cared for it, but these past few days I’ve been exploring all parts of Sunset and its been pretty darn amazing to see what kind of individual businesses are out there and be inspired by other woman bosses and their challenges.. to seek the bright and best murals!
I hope to continue to appreciate whats around me and to be mindful and grateful for what I have and to make the best out of what I have. Its so important to learn about yourself and learn to love who you are and to enjoy the wonderful being you have become and are becoming! It is definitely tough to remember in the moment, but please don’t!
My two biggest issues with mental health this past year was 1. letting go of this idea of who I should be and 2. not letting crappy moments cloud my love for life.

1. It has been a tough few years learning to self-love, ridding of negative thoughts, transitioning from social media as a way to prove myself to others and to instead, a hub of my favorite things and sharing my fun, preventing the feeling of insecurity around those who seem “better” or in lack of better terms, “cooler,” understanding my lack of desire to party or “live up my 20’s,” learning to not compare myself to others and see my uniqueness, and more. Point is, there have been so many nights of hatred and questioning as to why I couldn’t just fit in with the others and just make like “easier” or lets just delete all of my social media and just hide away from everything. But, I think I’ve come such a long way to embrace who I am- to proudly say no to alcohol because honestly, I just don’t feel like ever drinking it (unless its a Stella Rose wine or Stellaberry..) and to walk around in my neon t-shirts, bangs and shorts from the children’s section and be okay. To use my social media without concern for others because I love my bright and fun photos of outfits and fun places and cool quality wannabe “photography” and should spam everyone if thats what I truly enjoy! Sometimes you just got to do you whether it is a social insecurity or you’re just having the crappiest day. Stop and think about what actually matters. What will actually fulfill you as you? For me, its opening up my studio or teaching my kindergarten class and coming home to my hubby and multiple pups and ending the day with some easy dinner and an episode of HIMYM or Friends.
2. If you’re stuck in LA traffic on a Friday afternoon and starting to regret and rethink your whole life and just absolutely cranky, look up and just enjoy the view of those gorgeous skyscrapers that I actually once hated like a week ago and have actually learned to love. Think about how did someone build those? How long did it take? I once read this Tiny Buddha post on Facebook that has stuck with me ever since.. if you’re stuck in traffic, be happy that you’re actually able to have a car and to have places to go and gas to pay for! Enjoy those privileges that so many forget they have. If my plans just did not go as planned, get out of that rump! Do something that makes you happy, talk to someone that makes you happy, and then make the best out of the rest of the day. Everyday is special and worthwhile.
Its taken me quite awhile to get to a point where I feel confident in these thoughts and here are some ways that have helped:
  • Who are you?
    • I love to write down things about myself that I believe are me. It secures the ideas of myself and allows me to say “This is me and I’m proud.”
    • For example, I’ll write in my journal or even on this blog and say- I am a smoothie enthusiast.
    • Or, I live vicariously through wanderlusters (but refuse to actively participate) and would rather cook up a mean fried rice than travel over a mile for an instagrammable meal!
    • You start to learn about yourself and can even begin to see that you are a unique person who is more than enough
  • What makes you happy?
    • This goes a bit hand in hand with the “Who are you?” I have had my own journal for this (check my previous journaling posts) where I would just spend a few minutes a week and just write down a few things that make me happy
    • For example, receiving a package in the mail or the perfectly blended smoothie of the best texture or giving gifts and seeing the smiles on faces or taking successful family photos that may be used for the next five years!
    • You start to find the little quirks in life that make you smile and laugh and you simply begin to see and look out for those little joys in life!
  • What happened today?
    • I have a specific planner (my lovely Lilly Pulitzer) that is strictly for journaling! I love that it is a planner with dates since it keeps me in check (and as we all know.. journals are honestly the hardest to remember to write in)
    • All you do is simply write the good things that happened that day
    • For example, “today I had a fun conversation with Blah Blah who really made me appreciate this or that” or “today I walked Simba and he seemed to really enjoy the breeze and he would even chase the birds”
    • Even if  I forget to write in it for a week, I’ll at least try to remember the fun things that happened that week and write it down 🙂
    • I love to reflect and look back and laugh at the fun moments that will be forever remembered
    • It makes everyday the Best Day Ever and allows you to remember the little things in life!!
  • Find your hobby
    • Live it, love it, embrace it! Start a whole Instagram for your photographs or get a t-shirt with dogs on it! I don’t know, just really embrace it!
    • I’m definitely not the biggest crafter or blogger out there, but I choose it as my identity and I’m going to pretend I have a million followers and thats okay! It empowers me and makes me feel like me. This is something I love to do- this is me!
    • Spend your free time just doing what you love (and most importantly.. find some free time!!) and you’ll find yourself not giving a shit about the drama out there or what people think about you, because you got better things to do with your time! And at the same time, you learn about yourself- you will find skills that you can do that you never thought you could do! The amazing photo angles you can take.. the amazing crafts you can do.. the dribble that you can do! It is so empowering to find something you’re great at and just live it!
  • Lastly, something that I love to do that makes me feel present and mindful and simply in the moment is.. people watch!
    • Strange as it sounds, it is so helpful since it takes me out of my head and puts me out there- It allows you to see what is around you and wonder
    • Sometimes I would go to Panera Bread by myself, grab a bowl a soup and some salad and just sit there for an hour- I’d bring my study notes and just look of every now and then and just wonder! Where did they come from? I wonder what they might be going through? I know this all sounds creepy, but I promise it isn’t. You can simply do this in nature too! Look at the birds, the plants, and the bugs! Are they in a rush? Are they hungry? Where are they going? Look at the clouds! Find the bunny shapes!
    • This allows you to pause, breathe.. take yourself out of your head and stop that overthinking that has even driving you nuts! Just pause. Be grateful to sit in Panera Bread and to be able to order a nice lunch and be able to be at peace for a few moments- anyone would be lucky enough to do that 🙂
    • I’ve been trying to do this quite often with all my LA trips and at Disneyland! My favorite thing is to throw on my favorite outfit, and seriously just fix myself up a bit, go somewhere and just feel good in my environment! I even do this at school- look good, and feel good! Highly recommended!
So, there it is! A few things that really help me and of course easier said than done. 90% of the time, my mind is honestly the cloudiest and cluttered with crap, but here I am.. currently typing this as I watch Mulan with my two pups by my side and truth be told.. my heart is full and I am calm inside. 🙂

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